THAT WAS THEN. THIS IS NOW. MOVEMENTS ON THE END

We’ve come a long way; haven’t we?  We’ve overcome so much throughout history.  There is indeed much to shout about.  From slavery to freedom, let’s give a cheer.  Endings.  Endings.  We are always looking for the ending.  The end of slavery.  The end of poverty.  The end of segregation.  The end of inequality and injustice.  The end of racism.  The end of high gas prices.  The end of this discourse?  We want an end.  And if they would just stop doing what they are doing to cause my anguish (whatever that may be), there could be an end.  So, for centuries, we looked at them.  And we blamed them.  And we said if they would just change, and see us, there could be an end.  Well, here we are.  That was then, and this is now, movements on the end.

Let us pray.

I am Tamar and we were saying the same things then as you are saying now.  Movements on the end. 

Well, you can find my brief story in your good Book, II Samuel, Chapter 13:1-21.  I had my life wide open before me.  My father’s name is David.  You may remember he fought the giant and later became king?  Imagine that.  My father a king.  My brothers were Absalom and Amnon and I loved them dearly.  I wanted to live a life that would make my family and my God happy.  I wanted to be pleasing in the sight of God.  Young and loved, my virtue in tact, I knew I was protected by my father and brothers.  Life looked bright and wonderful. 

That was then. . .

She walked the campus daily, being friendly to all.  Her goal was to enjoy college life while obtaining an higher education.  She was not considered the most beautiful girl on campus but she was well-liked because of her jovial personality.  She was a basketball cheerleader, sang in the choir, went to church, played racquetball, danced and just had a wonderful time.  Her one desire was to save herself until marriage.  So, virtue in tack and confident in fact that she was loved and protected by her family.  God ordered her steps. 

This is now. 

You must know what I mean.  Life is perfect.  You are going along on the path that has to be intended by God.  You are in love with life and all is fantastic.  Ever been there?

Movements on the end.

But where was I?  Oh yes.  Then?  I lived a full life, open to all possibilities, but someone had a plan.  The scripture says my brother loved me.  His love was so intense that he could do nothing more than think of me.  Feeling despair and sick, he went to his friend.   My father’s brother Shimeah had a son named Jonadab.  I must say this cousin of mine was a very clever man.  He asked my brother what troubled him and my brother poured out his problem with an air of hopelessness.  My cousin, a man, my protector (or so I thought) says “Come my friend.  I have a plan.  Listen to how your problem can be solved.”

That was then. . .

He let her know that she was attractive, but he never made a move.  He kept his true desires to himself.  He knew she wasn’t involved with anyone and seemed to just enjoy life.  He watched her play racquetball.  He watched her cheer.  He watched her eating in the cafeteria.  His attraction grew, but he remained respectful.  They danced with the others at the disco and laughed with the group over meals.  They were friends.  But in his mind a plan was brewing. 

This is now. . .

Think of the co-workers who have told you they are with you and support your efforts.  Did they have a plan?  Mortgage company selling houses telling the public they can afford it.  Did they have a plan?  Fighting a war in our streets or across the seas to better humanity?  Did they have a plan?  On the battlefield for my Lord.  Do you have a plan?  Movements on the end.

The plan?  My brother Amnon pretended to be sick and took to his bed.  My father went to see him.  Amnon told him, "I would like my sister Tamar to come here. I want to watch her make some special bread. Then she can feed it to me."   I trusted my father and my brother.  So, when my father’s message arrived for me to go to my brother’s house and prepare food, I went without question.  You see, I honored my father.

When I arrived, my brother was indeed in bed.  So, I   went to the house, got some dough, and mixed it. I shaped the bread right there in front of him. And I baked it.  Then I took the bread out of the pan and served it to him. But my brother refused to eat it.   Instead, he sent everyone out of the room. 

That was then...

He had been working at the gym.  She had been playing racquetball with her friends.  It was a warm spring day, and the game had been hard-fought.  She felt exhilarated after getting some much-needed exercise and just enjoying life.  When she went to turn her racquetball gear in, he was standing there.  They chatted and asked what one another had done earlier in the day.  He asked what she was about to do.  She told him she had to do some studying.  He said he was about to get off and they should study together.  She said cool, and they gathered their things and went to his room.  She had hung out in his room many times. You see, she trusted her friend. 

This is now. . .

They looked.  They saw.  They played Martin Luther King speeches.  They held hands and sang the songs.  Millions stood on the mall and waited with baited breath.  We, as a country, have learned.  Obama won.  Stand.  Shout.  Cheer.  Cry out and Praise the Lord, because that was then and this is now.

Movements at the end.

My brother, my brother, Amnon told me to bring the food into his bedroom. He asked me to feed him and even said please.  So I picked up the bread and brought it to Amnon in his bedroom so he could eat it.   But eating bread was not what was on his mind.  He grabbed and held me.  He called me SISTER and then asked me to have sex with him.

And though I pleaded and begged, "Don't do this, my brother! "Don't force me to have sex with you”, he did not stop.  And, when I screamed, “An evil thing like that should never be done in Israel! Don't do it! He could not hear.   “What about me? How could I ever get rid of my shame? And what about you? You would be as foolish as any evil person in Israel. Please speak to the king. He won't keep me from getting married to you."   My brother refused to listen to me. Being stronger than I, he raped me. 

That was then . . .

When they got into his room, she sat down at the desk and began opening her books.  He turned on the small black-and-white television set that sat on the shelf by the window and proceeded to stretch his lanky frame on the much too short bed.  He then said, “I know you didn’t think we were really going to study today, did you?”  She said, “Oh yeah, I have to get this work done.  The TV won’t bother me, but I really do have to study.  Besides I have to get back to the gym in about an hour because I have a match.”  “That’s plenty of time for us.” 

That remark surprised her.  “Time for what?” He proceeded to tell her that she knew he liked her.  And, though she reminded him they were friends, and he had a girlfriend who trusted him, he did not stop.  And, when she pleaded that he leave her alone, he could not (or did not) hear.  And when he pushed her down upon that bed, and she pushed with all her might, he slapped her hard across the face.  And when she became deathly still so he would strike her no more, he took what she was holding for the one she would marry.

This is now. . .

Dreams are broken.  Spirits are torn asunder.  My brother’s loathing was great, greater than his lust and he screamed at me to get out.  Through my shrieks of no, his heart hardened.  While I pleaded this is wrong, he called a young man and had me thrown out and he barred the door.  I put on my royal robes and adorned myself in the way of a princess and then I tore the robe and put ash upon my head.  My brother Abosalom asked if Amnon had been with me and told me not to take it to heart.  Don’t take it to heart?  My brothers’ stories continue.  But mine?  I am Tamar and my life’s narrative ends in II Samuel with me living a lonely life in my brother Absalom’s home.

Movements on the end.

Langston Hughes asked “What Happens to A Dream Deferred?”  My name is Liz and I think I have an answer.  When things don’t go as you think they should, you can sit alone and leave your clothes ripped from the shame.  Or, you can rise up and let your voice ring out powered by the anguish of your pain. 

You see, the Bible does not tell enough about Tamar.  Therefore, I don’t know if Tamar called on God.  But when I was struggling through that time in my life, I know it was God who was there, and I called God and I cried with God.  You see, God had been my friend for a very long time.  And I know with certainty that God delivered me.  I know that God was down there in the mess with me, saying Hold on, there is something better.  I am a witness to the fact that trouble doesn’t last always.  If you let God go with you, you can indeed make it through.

My story did not end in that college campus room.  I went on to get married and have three beautiful children and four incredible grandchildren.  Look at me.  I am humbled and honored to be attending Howard University School of Divinity.  I have been able to speak up and help others who have also endured.  I have been empowered by God to reach out to young men and teach them that young ladies are to be cherished not abused.  Not only that, my experience has better equipped me to meet people where they are.  I don’t mind getting right down in the dirt and mire with them.  It is there that I would assure them that God is on the job and knows just where they hurt, and He surely can help.  I can tell them because I know.  Don’t you know, as well?  God really will show the way to a light that is brighter than can ever be dreamed. 

I stand before you today asking that you understand that you should not cry for Tamar and you definitely should not weep for me.  You should look around and know that someone in here may have been cast in one of the roles of the narratives you have heard today. Weep for them and then take action.  Somebody right here may know someone who has been hurt and had no idea how to be made whole again.  Weep for them and then take action.  Someone in this place today might have a sister, brother, cousin, friend, wife, co-laborer for the Lord who will in the future have to face rape.  If you must weep, weep for them and then take action. 

All that we are learning about being prophetic ministers, what does it mean?  All the social justice platforms we proclaim to uplift, will be to whose glory? Obama being President of these United States is worth what? 

When do we start doing as Marvin McMickle author of Where Have All the Prophets Gone^[1], suggests?  He says we have to change our historical circumstances.  In other words, we have to get to root of the problem.  We have to change what causes the situation in the first place.  We have to talk to our men and encourage, instill, demand that they treat our women as queens.  Young men honor the young ladies. 

My story just happens to be one of rape.  God calls us to recognize the fact that there are so many injustices out there that need our voice, our support, our action.  Please hear me.  It doesn’t always mean standing on the mountaintop and receiving the 10 Commandments.  It does not always mean dying for the cause like Martin Luther King, Jr. or Malcolm X.  It does not have to mean being sworn in as the first Black President of the United States. 

It does mean going with God.  It means trusting in God’s promise.  It means stepping out on faith with God.  And, when we get that down?!  Sometimes it just means talking to your children.  Sometimes it just means modeling relationships that are positive for those who watch and mimic our behavior.  Sometimes, it just means teaching “No, means no,” and saying it until they believe it!  Sometimes it might mean sharing information.  You know what?  Sometimes it might just mean telling somebody the story of Tamar and Liz.   You can say and believe that Tamar was then.  Liz is now and we can change this thing.  And, one day, when someone cries out “Don’t do this to me!!”, someone will stop.  Movements on the end!!  To God be the glory for me and my story!!

If you feel you are called, won’t you act?  If you know there is someone in need, won’t you lift a hand?  If you have been moved by anything that I have said, won’t you please come go back to your home church and think of ideas for ways you can be of assistance.  Won’t you rise and move forward on this day during Domestic Violence month?  Will you take just one small step toward changing our historical circumstances?  Won’t you?

[1]McMickle, Marvin, Where Have All the Prophets Gone?: Reclaiming Prophetic Preaching in America Pilgrim,  Press (2006).