Training Our Children to Honor

Honor your father and mother that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you (Exodus 20:13 NIV).

Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6 NIV).

Why should our children honor us as parents?  I know scripture tells us that doing so leads to long life.  I heard many adults say, “Do as I say, not as I do”.  That sounds more like obey.  Do we sometimes confuse honor with obedience? 

Scripture also tells us that parents are supposed to train their children.  But are you training your children to understand what honor means?  We must not teach our children that honor simply means obey.  This does not mean that children do not have to obey their parents.

Even though obedience is not mentioned in the focal passages, I believe that children will obey you even when they do not want to honor you.  Children will obey because they are told to.  They follow because they learn that if they don’t, there are consequences.  These consequences may include punishment, disappointing Jesus, and even losing your love. It could even mean losing God’s promise of long life.  Be careful how you train your child.

Show children honor and they will display honor in return.  It takes conscious, consistent loving care to train a child.  Forgive them.  Be patient with them.  Do not call them names.  Be fair in your discipline.  Try encouraging them when they do well in school and when they do well in church. When they get a hard-earned “A” or when they pray aloud for the first time, either way, your smile should be large enough to block the sun.  Hug them just because children need love.  Never stop kissing their booboos and telling them it will be okay.  Always let them know they can run to you in times of trouble.  Always tell them that you love them, no matter what.  Are these not the ways of Christ?

Do not forget that everything begins with a Christ-centered family.  I have listed only a few ways you, the parents, can lovingly honor your children.  This is how children best learn to give honor.  This is how children's desire to honor you begins to blossom. Honor is reciprocal, and that is the wonder of the love of Jesus.  It flows from you, the parent, to your child and from your child right back to you and the world around us.

Train your child in how they should go, and your child will honor you.