Liz's Lesson Learned: Inheritance Pt. 1

Inheritances are often possessions passed down through the ages, and society teaches us to cherish those items.  An heirloom, some jewelry, property, clothes, and land – things generally passed between families.  The list just goes on and on. 

I guess when you get to be my age, it’s not surprising that a family member has passed and left an inheritance.  Another thing about being my age is that I no longer seem to care about the material things I may or may not inherit in quite the same way.  For example, when I was younger, I thought my mother’s wedding ring was beautiful and hoped I would someday inherit it. 

You may relate to this feeling.  If a house is left, that’s wonderful, but you may have a house.  If you are left a car, that’s cool, but you have cars.  If there is jewelry and anything that can trigger the five senses, you probably already have those things. 

I thank God for those memories and blessings, and yet there are other things I cherish even more.

I thought about this idea of an inheritance for days.  Until I finally pushed past these pensive thoughts and penned a letter to my parents exploring the inheritance that I value the most.

      *

A child talks to her parents.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Dad, you died too soon.  Remember?  That was when the world was just beginning to talk about Alzheimer’s.  You were 65 and, I was pregnant with your grandson. 

Mom, I had so many cherished years with you, because you blessed our souls until you were just three months shy of being 89 years old, 30 years after Dad passed. 

And though we all cared for you, I was so grateful that you lived the last few months of your life with me, and I was right there as you took that last deep sigh and passed on to eternal life.

Mom, I know I inherited your ability to care for elders. You tirelessly watched over Dad during his illness.  Right, Dad?  For more than two years, she looked after his needs in that small brick house we began calling home when I was about two or three.  As you forgot things or became grumpy, Mom loved and stood by you.  And when you were really disagreeable, she would call over your male friends to help bathe and dress you.  I never heard her say “I love you” but her actions told it all!

Oh, that’s something else I inherited, from you both the understanding of how to treasure lifelong friendships.  When the chips are down, those friends will come to your rescue. 

Dad, you passed on to me the desire to care for my spouse because you cared for my mother as she gave birth to six children.  You were there for her each time she became sick with pneumonia.  Each time you were there. 

One thing I decided not to inherit was your willingness to pick up her clothes and neatly hang them in the closet: while only shaking your head in silent disapproval.

We may not have had a lot of money, and it was not always safe for a Black family to travel through America, but we still managed to visit so many of the states.  We would get in the car and drive to Oklahoma and Texas, Ohio and Pennsylvania, New York, North and South Carolina, Florida, and so many other places. 

Some might think it odd, but it was our norm for the two of you to be willing to take your six children and then add a neighbor’s son and one of our cousins to come on our summer vacation to Disney World.

Dad, how about all the times you would take us on those long walks to get exercise or when you put all of us in our station wagon and took us to Atlantic City so we could ride the waves in the Atlantic Ocean?  Because of you, I understand that when you don’t have much money, you can jump in the car and head to the water and ride those larger-than-life waves!

Mom, you decided that the family that prayed and played together remained together.  So, before Family Reunions became so popular, your side of the family would get together every holiday to share a meal, play games, and enjoy one another’s company. 

Sunday was the day to attend our church.  But you took us to other church services and events when invited by friends and family. Praying over a meal was the norm in our house.  We always watched the Ten Commandments on television.  Many of your friends were members of our church.

I also love sharing time with my family.  In this day of connecting over the internet, I have found joy in being able to connect with my children and grandchildren who do not live in this area.  I also love sharing my faith with them in hopes that they also find peace in developing a rich, enduring relationship with our Lord.

Family is what it was all about for you, and family is what it is for me now….

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