The Essence of Me Part II: Accidentally On Purpose – A Reverend, A Minister

Rev. Dr. Elizabeth Lynne Ellis Wiggins… that’s my name now.  I went from being Elizabeth Lynne Ellis to Miss Elizabeth Lynne Ellis, to Mrs. Elizabeth Lynne Ellis Wiggins, to Evangelist, Reverend and now Rev. Dr.  And I thought being named Elizabeth was a mouth-full!  Indeed, I am the one who shortened my name from Elizabeth to Liz (not legally though) only because I felt that folk expected big things from being Elizabeth, and I was just trying to fit in and live life.

Figuring out the essence of me continues.

I may have accidentally been stirred in the direction of ministry. I gratefully marvel at my life’s path. This has been fulfilling but it was neither expected nor contemplated.  Was it on purpose?

From 1975-1978 I was in high school.  Unless I was sick or out of town, I still attended church and Sunday school every Sunday.  Our church celebrates Youth Sunday.  The youth lead the worship service, usher, and sing in the choir.  They also do the responsive reading, pray, read the scripture, and preach the sermon….

This was still when I was afraid of public speaking.  One of my high school English teachers gave me an “A” on a paper I wrote about caring for my parents and felt I should share it with the class. 

“Elizabeth, I want you to read your paper today.” 

Quickly assessing the class and seeing eyes with varying expressions, quirks and raised eyebrows, I vigorously shook my head and muttered “No.”

The request was repeated. Again, I said no.

“I’m going to ask you again, and if you say no, I will put an 'F' in the grade book.

I thought to myself, “I got an 'A' on this paper, why is she asking me to do this?”

True to her word, two more times she asked, and I answered, and that red pen in her left hand added an “F” to her gradebook.

I finally gave in because I knew I could not let my grade drop from the “A” I always secretly coveted.

With my voice quivering and tears of anger and frustration streaming down my cheeks, I read a paper that told how my one desire was to take care of my parents and make sure they needed nothing – just as they had cared for me.

The class applauded. Was it because the paper was good or because I had made it through that long, long 3 minutes, lowered my head and quickly returned to my seat, mortified at the experience.  That did not help with my fear of public speaking at all, and I certainly felt no essence of me!!

Anyway, the year I was chosen to preach the youth Sunday sermon, three others were chosen as well.  We each had to prepare a 10-minute sermonette (probably more like a speech back then).  Having four of us prepare the message took a lot of the pressure off.   I can’t remember what the scripture was or my topic.  I remember taking the scripture of the day and writing faith-filled words that explained my budding understanding of the word of God.  I remember feeling amazed and grateful at those who came up and told me I did well.  My first chance to preach, what an honor!  But I did not imagine what the future would hold.

In the 1980’s I began working as the Church Secretary.  I also taught Sunday school and led prayer meetings.  On several occasions, church members would come up to me and say I should go to seminary.  I knew you had to complete seminary to become a minister at our church.  At that time, we only had one pastor, and he was cool.  So, I couldn’t imagine what good it would do for me to go to seminary.  Besides, I did not want people to believe I had what it took to lead and minister to others based on a piece of paper I got from a school. 

So, I continued to minister and preach and teach and encourage and lead, but I dodged school.  My faith grew and grew.  I studied the bible and helped others study it, but still not willing to apply to seminary.  I had finished my bachelor’s degree and finally made a way to pay off my initial student loans.  Yahoo!!! I thought of a master’s degree, but I was leaning toward taking the LSAT so I could go to law school.

Sometime in the early 1990s, I was sitting at a coffee hour in our church’s Fellowship Hall when a member came up and asked if I would speak to her daughter.  I had known her daughter since she was a little girl, and now she was in her first year of college.  Mom said other girls were constantly teasing her about being a virgin.  She asked me to talk to her about negotiating campus life.

In hindsight, I didn’t realize that things were at work behind the scenes.  I had not shared stories of my campus hardships with others.  Therefore, her mother did not know that I was a virgin when I went to college, nor that I had been raped in college.  I also faced racism and my share of mean girls and awful boys for the matter.  Nevertheless, something about me made her feel I might be able to help her daughter.

The two of us sat down and chatted.  Not in an office with bookshelves lined with books and hardwood desks and chairs, all indications that a person of the cloth was about to advise.  We sat at a bare rectangular table in two tan folding chairs. 

“Your mom said you would not mind talking with me about campus life.”

“Yes, girls on campus are always teasing me and giving me a hard time about being a virgin.” Her lovely, deep chocolate face looked so sad as she choked up while speaking.

“Everyone who talks about having an active sex life on a college campus isn't necessarily telling the truth,” I began. “If they are, it doesn’t mean you have to do what they do.  Follow your faith and your heart.”

“I really want to save myself for marriage.”

I did not attempt to hide the smile that bubbled up from within my soul.  I nodded my head as I said, “Yes, I wanted to do the same thing. My spiritual life was still maturing, but I felt no shame at wanting to save myself.  And neither should you.  Actually, you are in an honorable position.  By the way,” I continued, “my freshman year, when we were just getting our feet wet on campus, I was one of 4 girls who confessed that we were all virgins.”

Surprise registered on her face, and slowly her surely tight-lipped countenance turned to a smile that made her even more beautiful. 

This gave her the courage to be herself on campus and ignore the mean girls.  And years later, when she was ready to get married, she asked me to help her with church logistics. The next time I saw her in Walmart, my children were grown. But she still remembered our chat.  Perhaps this was another step toward my accidental leap into ministry.  I don’t know…

Most people think that being a minister means pastoring a church, preaching on Sunday, and leading bible study or going to meetings.  Is that really all there is to it?

While I am an associate minister at my church, more often than not, I minister outside of the pulpit and the walls of my church.

“Liz, would you do the prayer of comfort at his mother’s funeral in Delaware on Sunday?”

“Sure, I will do that.  I would be happy to,” was my cheerful answer to my brother’s question as I remembered how frightened I was to pray aloud. 

“Rev. Dr., would you please facilitate my sister’s funeral?” the son of a childhood friend asked.

“Elizabeth, the judge has signed the order appointing you the special advocate.  Can you look at some dates when we can meet and get you started on your case?” That good news email came from my CASA supervisor!

Well, in my life, God always seems to have the last word.  I say no, but then I continuously, in countless ways, feel that gentle push to say yes.  In 2007, I entered Howard University School of Divinity.  In 2010, I completed my studies and received my Master of Divinity.  Oh, it was all worth it. 

But I must say that agonizingly hard-earned C in the Black Church, where I had to read over 400 pages a week and write and discuss and take exams…. was the class that made me do a hallelujah dance!! 

A degree, and I was accidentally official.  Well, actually… right before I graduated from Howard, my church voted to license me to preach, and in 2011, in a very emotionally charged and spirited, tear-wrenching service, I was ordained.  I actually felt a little better equipped to serve God.  Wow, a degree, a license, and an ordination, and I was ready to…

Weddings and funerals, planning special events and facilitating, serve as worship leader.  Planning and learning, and teaching and reaching out to others.  Bell Choir Director.  Klassy Kids and liturgical dance.  Choir member in so many places.  Interim Choir Director.  Stopping by to see those who couldn’t physically come out to service.  Dropping a letter or card in the mail to let someone know I was thinking about them.  Making a call because the spirit hit me.  Singing, ringing bells, and growing more and more in touch with my faith. 

But for some unfathomable reason, Jesus said it wasn’t enough.  Once again, I felt that urge to study, but it was not the law.  After completing an intense 7-year Doctor’s program that included writing a 200-page dissertation, a degree was conferred upon me at another spiritually moving service that sparked spontaneous crying, and I became Dr. Wiggins.  I pray God is pleased with me…

It’s all part of ministry – that and so much more.  I never dreamed of being in a pulpit or serving in ministry.  Nonetheless, in ministry I am. 

God knew that I would be in ministry.  I wanted to dance! But God knew, and now I know nothing I dreamed of being meant that ministry wasn’t in my essence.

Allow it, and God’s purpose will lead you to your essence.  But was it my choice or was it God’s purpose?

I accidentally on purpose am a minister.  And that’s part of the essence of me.